Braking News with Brian: Dashboard Hieroglyphics

Sitting in some of the more exotic and complex automobiles can feel like you’re sitting in the cockpit of a jet airplane. There are so many buttons and switches– it’s mind-boggling. What are they all for? Will we ever actually use them?  

Along with the countless buttons and switches comes a series of what I call hieroglyphic images that light up our dashboards. What do they mean, and how important are they really? 

Some of these images are actually simple and are plain words that even I can understand. But some others are pretty bizarre. Customers sometimes come to me and say, “Brian, what does this light mean?” And even after decades of working on cars, I’ve had to admit: “I’ve never seen a light like that before!” 

I mean, who came up with the idea that an exclamation mark inside a U shape means low tire pressure? A circle inside a set of parentheses means low brake pads. And my personal favorite: an exclamation point inside a red triangle, which means… “check your dashboard for other warning lights.” Really? If it were up to me, the lights would be straightforward.  

Something like: LOW TIRE PRESSURE, LOW BRAKE PADS, or the catch-all: “HEY, &!^#)!@, SOMETHING IS ABOUT TO BREAK.  

Until automakers adopt my system, though, we’re left with the hieroglyphics. That’s why the most responsible thing we can do as car owners is read our owner’s manual. Painful as it may be, we can educate ourselves on all those crazy lights, hieroglyphic images, and bizarre warning sounds.

Happy reading, and keep your eyes on the road!